Wednesday, 16 July 2014

My First First Date in about Thirteen Years

So Friday night was the second round in what I jokingly refer to as an Interview for a Job I'm not sure I even want...otherwise known as the first date.

Like with Speed Dating, my expectations were low. (Let me be clear - my standards are not low, just my expectations to avoid disappointment!) My KPIs for my first first date in about 13 years were small - minimal awkward silences and that he not be a sociopath.

It went well. Exceedingly well for my first first date in about 13 years with a virtual stranger. The conversation flowed easily and honestly. I don't know if there were fireworks, but he's attractive, nice, interesting, a gentleman (which I find both charming and disarming) and I felt very comfortable with him. And it lasted 5 1/2 hours, which I guess is a pretty good effort!

I invited some friends around for brunch on Sunday morning, and they eagerly enquired how Friday night went - I think being married, plus being lovely people to boot, they enjoy listening to my single gal experiences and so were more excited about it than I was! But as I recounted how well it seemed to go, I realised that perversely a part of me was hoping to have some disastrous first dates so I wouldn't have to actually make a hard decision about a guy....

Anyway, tomorrow night we're having our second date, so we'll see if after last week we still have things to talk about!

Monday, 7 July 2014

Like a series of interviews for a job you don't even want

Ok, so for the record I am not ready for, or interested in having a relationship. Let alone have the time! However lately I've started thinking it might be nice to have someone else to catch a movie or dinner with. So...

last Thursday night I went speed dating with a fellow gal pal.

No pressure, no expectations. If there was noone there I was attracted to, I wouldn't be upset. After all - I don't want a relationship remember? No time remember? I purely regarded it as an interesting 'market research' opportunity - would there infact be anyone there I vaguely found interesting?

So after manically getting the children ready for the babysitter, and getting myself ready in about 3 1/2 minutes, I hopped into my girl friend's car. But as we got closer to the venue, I started feeling a little nervous and unprepared...the best way I can think of describing the feeling was like I was about to have a job interview for a job I didn't even want! Actually, about to have about a dozen interviews!

So we paid our $10 and nursed our first drink while cautiously scanning the room to check out the talent. We were given our score cards, and started thinking how I could make discrete notes (including scores out of 10) for each candidate, without shielding my work with my left arm as if back in primary school. But I digress...

so the ladies took their seats (my gal and I picking a comfy bench seat each) and awaited the talent.

Each date was 4 minutes long, and at first I was worried the time would pass too quickly. It turns out it's just enough time for anyone to sound interesting enough and to gauge if you want to see each other again.

After a whirl whind of potential candidates, it was a relief to find that it wasn't too hard talking to strangers for 4 minutes. There were no fireworks, but there was someone I thought I'd like to keep talking to, and we've since organised having a drink after work this Friday.

We'll see how it goes without someone ringing a bell to cut our time short!

Youth is waste on the Young

Over the past couple of weekends, I've had moments when I was completely happy being single ('single' doesn't have the painful connotations of 'separated') ...moments when I was child free and enjoying the moment and maybe getting a little closer to discovering me.

Now don't get me wrong...I love my children to bits. They are lovely, funny, clever, maddening, exhausting and they melt my heart...but it is nice to have some time to myself to be an adult, that doesn't involve being at work.

This weekend particularly, felt a little like I had managed to get the perfect blend of the freedom of 'youth' and the responsibility of being an adult. I had an incredibly rare run of three nights out in a row involving adult conversation and alcohol (including speed dating which we'll come to later), a walk into town on Saturday morning to pick up my car, flirting innocently with a cute bartender (well, trying to flirt anyway), drinking beers with friends without needing to worry about keeping an eye on my possums, and walking home in the cool fresh night air.

All these moments which make me feel happier, stronger, and help me stand in good stead for those moments like this morning when it's clear that I'm speaking to my ex from his girlfriend's bed.