Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Three Weeks from Ground Zero

It's been a big three weeks.

Three weeks ago you confirmed something I had been hoping you wouldn't. That you wanted out. Since then, between the tears and the pain, I have focused on growing from this experience and becoming a stronger person. Some key things that have happened:

I had my first meeting with a solicitor, started to put together a budget, spent hours putting in a claim for government benefits and child support, wrote a parenting plan, typed up a list to help work out who gets what in the house, met with real estate agents about possible selling our house and trialled a couple of apps to help with our shared care arrangements.

I have thought a lot on the things in me I need to be aware of.
I have found a supportive and steadfast friend in someone I had previously thought of as a good acquaintance.
I have started to reach out to other people - to make contact, to ask for little favours.
I wrote a letter to my parents saying some home truths about our relationship, and how my mother upsets me in her lack of support for me.
I have thought a lot on how supportive and accommodating I had been as a wife. I've also thought a lot about what I will not compromise on again in future relationships. That essentially I will always be honest, and will not sell myself short.

And I can now say "P and I are separated" without crying. And that in itself is pretty big.

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