Friday, 28 February 2014
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's back to work I go...
So after the weekend, I return to work after 6 months of maternity leave.
This is the third time I've done this, but in this case I'm not sure if the theory of 'third time lucky' or 'it gets easier each time' applies here.
Luckily, the baby has been pretty cruisy. By now I can pretty much breastfeed while doing housework and change a nappy while amusing one or two other children. But there's been a fair bit of other business going on in the last several months. . .like er, becoming separated. Most of you who have stumbled upon here know how time consuming and emotionally exhausting that is! In summary:
1. Be told my husband is leaving me. Not working on the marriage. That's it.
2. Go into shock.
3. Cry a lot.
4. Start going to the gym!
4. As I can't control my emotions and have no say in this separation, begin to try and control what I can - the other facets of my life. Go into overdrive doing a budget, organise government benefits, cancel cards, change beneficiaries, set up my own cards/bank accounts, change passwords, meet with the solicitor (you get the idea)
5. Decide I will not become a victim, but will use this heart wrenching experience as a journey for me.
6. Vow to myself (and to my husband) that I will be a better and stronger person a year from now.
4. Go through a whirl wind of emotions, which fluctuate and don't necessarily follow a logical order. Vacillate between wanting to stab a fork in his head, rail against the world and tell everyone who he left me for, to intellectually realising that the separation could be a whole lot worse and probably better it happen now and not even later in life.
5. Start to slowly pick up the pieces, start creating a new life, learn a lot about myself and others.
I regularly fall over - sometimes small slips, other times big slides into a dark cavern, but with time I'm slowly getting better at pulling myself back up, dusting myself off and continuing on.
So on Monday I make the transition from separated mum, to separated (paid) working mum. I've organised my wardrobe, implemented a fortnightly meal plan, transitioned my youngest two to day care and enlisted my eldest to do more chores in exchange for pocket money. I might just print me off some affirmations for the tough times at work and pack some tissues in my handbag.
Wish me luck!