Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Happy New Year!

New Years Day sees many people waking up with some foggy memories from the night before, others waking up declaring it to be just an ordinary day like scrooge scoffing at Christmas, while others wake up with anticipation and focus on the new year ahead and the promise it brings, like the smell of a newly opened book.

Which camp do you fall in?

Today I'm in the latter camp.

Today I find myself at home with my three kids, packing their bag before their father picks them up. I made it to midnight last night, but I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep - I wasn't on the harbour watching fireworks, I didn't have a loved one to kiss, I wasn't toasting in the new year. I had been lucky enough to spend the night with some friends and their children, before my kids packed it in at an impressive 10pm (pretty good for 3 kids under 7 if you ask me!)

Last night, lying in bed, I began to feel the familiar twangs of maudlin, reminiscing of New Years past, and trying not to think about what good things the new year may bring my ex and the woman he left me for.

Last night I posted this on Facebook, which got a lot of support from my friends:
At the beginning of 2013 I had no idea that this year would see me giving birth to our third child, becoming separated from my husband of 10 years and beginning a journey of self discovery. I have made some new friends, struck up some old friendships and been pleasantly surprised by random acts of kindness.

You never know what is around the corner, so enjoy as many moments as you can, even the apparently ordinary ones because ultimately that's what life is made of - a whole lot of moments pieced together. They are made good, bad or indifferent by our choice to be present and to learn. And that's my number one resolution. Oh, and maybe eat less carbs. (Maybe not the most poetic way of saying this, but you get my drift - I'm trying to keep this concise!)

I understand the news of our seperation will come as a surprise to most of you. It was devastating at first, and while still upsetting Peter and I are committed to our children and to remaining friends.

I wish you all the best for 2014 in health, friendship and happiness. 


So this morning I made a choice to try and start the new year more positively. My resolutions are big yet simple, and necessary for my health and journey to a better place:
  • To not let him, her and any other negative un-useful person rent space in my head. 
  • To be present in each moment.
  • To see challenges as learning opportunities.
  • Know that I am stronger than I was, and will be even stronger yet.
  • To be true to myself and be happy.
  • Keep an Appreciation Diary. In the week of Christmas I asked our family (ex, ex's in-laws and kids) what they were grateful for that day. This was a nice exercise in starting to find things to appreciate in a day. A friend of mine records this in a book, and I was fortunate to receive a lovely book from a friend recently which I will use for this.

That's as concise as I can make it. It is easier said than done, but it is the best and healthiest way forward for me and for my kids.

So I played some happy music, packed away Christmas, read some lovely supportive comments from friends on Facebook and adored Isabella.

And that's a pretty good way to start the new year.

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