Thursday, 9 January 2014

No relationships were destroyed in the making of this relationship!


Would that make a catchy t-shirt?

Despite my relatively new status as "separated", I feel no awkwardness or 'jealousy' around my coupled friends. And I've had so much to process that I hadn't even thought about how my new status may over time change how some people may see me. That is until I read this.

I honestly don't think my coupled friends will stop inviting me to their kids parties. But an innocent comment made in jest by my girlfriend the other night made me think. The father of one of my children's good friends had popped around for a cup of coffee one afternoon when P had the boys, and had brought his daughter along. I mentioned this in passing while recounting my day to my girlfriend, and she joked to be careful as people might start talking about me and this man. I quipped back that it would indeed be a stupid person to bring along their young daughter if they wanted to keep the visit on the sly. Especially as she had fallen in love with some new Christmas presents and would no doubt have regaled her mum with all the details of the sounds and flashing lights she had encountered.

But this led me to think - is there another reason why some coupled friends avoid the odd numbered guest - are some women potentially threatened by someone who is now 'available'?

As I was punishing myself  doing a cycling class last night, this popped into my head. I know you can't help where your heart leads you, but for me I've never been interested in anyone who was in a relationship. Maybe I've just been lucky? Maybe there are many normally good, honest people who who end up in this position.

For me, whether someone is dating or married, that person is 'out of bounds'.

I know this doesn't apply to everyone. My husband for one who fell in love with a married woman. (Who in turn has 'co-incidentally' recently separated from her husband.) And I believed you couldn't get a more honest, decent person than my husband. Well I still believe..but it gets a little complicated and depends on how vulnerable I'm feeling...

So as you can imagine, I've got some major issues coming up re trusting another bloke again.


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